I am looking out for you

I know I am looking out for you, I know I am searching for you, anything else doesn't matter, just to be in your arms is all that I need.

There is something deep deep inside of me, that I cant touch, you are so close but I don't know how to reach you..

You seem to be far away but just a few inches near me...I want to tell you so much but cant find the words...

I am sitting here, listening to the last concert of a Swiss Rock Icon. The music is loud; it is vibrating inside and outside of me. Feelings and memories dance a dance of the past.....emotions rise and fall like sun and moon.

Pictures of loved ones come back, life’s which I was part of seem to unfold again but in a different light.....was it only yesterday, when I saw my Fathers eyes dying? Was it only yesterday, when I heard him laughing? Eyes filled with tears, a sad heart.....I don't want you back....but seeing what you had to go through...makes me cry.

In moments like this, time seems not to exist. In times like this....only emotions and memories seem to fill the stage of my existence.

The actors of my play are in the shade of my brain and in the center of my heart. Will I ever understand the principles of love and hate? Will I ever be able to see behind the veils?

What are the disguises that you are wearing? How do you feel in your Worker-Dress?

How do you feel being looked at as low class? What does it feel to be abused and used? Is your heart crying when you are laughing? Do you fear to get older? Do you fear to die?

Father/Friend/Man/Brother... who are you? Why does my heart seem to be filled with sad and lonely feelings? Why do I have the desire inside of me to hold you, to take you into my arms and heart, to give you shelter, to heal both our hearts?

Is it just a journey into remembering or is it a remembering of our journey?

Did I do you wrong, did I hurt you so much that it hurts me now?